Rare Venting Session
So I’m not usually one to vent on Tumblr (ever) but something happened tonight at the gym that has thrown me into a giant cacophony of thoughts and emotions.
Sparknotes of the day: woke up at five AM, completed a two-and-a-half hour pole fitness class, and also worked out again tonight at the gym for an hour. Given that my day was incredibly long and exhausting, my workout tonight was sub-par but I pushed through it.
As my workout ended and I walked to the pool/sauna area, I noticed this guy and holy hell he looked exactly like the impossibly gorgeous and cut guys you seen on Tumblr all the time. I mean he was tall, beautiful chest, six pack, the works. Seeing him, all I could do was shut down.
It wasn’t his fault obviously because he did nothing wrong. However, my mind went right to the negatives and started thinking things like “Well I bet he didn’t even have to work that hard for that body” and “He looks like an asshole so the body doesn’t even matter.”
Sitting in the sauna, I caught myself thinking like this and had to stop.
What. The. Flying. FUCK?
Why was I automatically trying to bring this guy down just to make myself feel better? Why did I feel the need to find his every (probable) fault and state them to bring up my self-esteem? I’m usually always the eternal optimist so why did my day today turn into a complete 180?
That is when my thought process shifted to this:
Bringing someone else down will never bring yourself up.
Never let someone else’s journey deter you from your own.
What you see on the outside is in no way a reflection of what may be on the inside.
Don’t be frustrated by the miles left to go; instead look back proudly on the miles already travelled.
I, myself, have lost 90 pounds as of last Friday. NINETY. That’s almost 1/3 of my original weight. (Original weight = 278/Current weight = 187). I’ve come so far in the last three years—I’m a completely different person now. I love myself and the life I live. I’m the happiest I’ve ever been (due largely in part to a boy who makes me feel like I’m always on top of the world).
After all of this happened, I concluded this:
We are all human. No matter how high we think we are, there will always be moments when we fall from grace and make mistakes. However, we are not the mistakes we make; how we handle these mistakes defines our character. We must choose to take the high road and appreciate our accomplishments instead of criticizing our faults, our unaccomplished feats, and ourselves. Look at yourself in the mirror: instead of telling yourself “You have so far to go…”
Tell yourself: My god, look how far you’ve already come.